Cold Night Hot Coffee

  A hot cup of coffee on a cold winter’s night. They are at different ends of the spectrum, but each, is one of my favorite things. The combining of these two opposites remind me of how beautiful relationships are.

Whether it’s a spouse, a friend, or a co-worker, we have a choice. Our differences can either separate us, or be a tool to bring us closer together. Cold and hot, big and small, applied correctly, compliment each other.  

This doesn’t mean that it’s always natural, or even easy, but it does prove that it’s worth it. The coffee didn’t make the night less cold, and the cold didn’t make it any hotter. What they did together was to affect my situation. They brought me pleasure.

Many people try to change their partner, which results in lukewarm relationships. The only person I can change is myself, and that’s a full time job. Changing myself is beneficial, trying to force change in someone else is not. Instead, if I can find common ground, our differences can work together to alter a situation.

If the relationship needs work, we’re better served by working with the other person. In World War II, Winston Churchill, and Franklin Roosevelt, were two very strong, but different men. The two formed one of the greatest alliances in history. They realized they faced something far more dangerous than their own egos, or personal preferences. The fate of the world was at stake.

While the free world may not be on the line, our individual world is worth fighting for. My preferences aren’t nearly as important as the people that I value. The more I invest in the relationship, the more those who love me invest in it too.  

We’re often tempted to think that we are the only one working, but that is rarely true. We are just approaching it differently, because we are different. We both are looking at the same picture, from individual points of view.

If someone you love and yourself are struggling right now, try this. Separate, as much as you can, from the emotions that are swirling around you. Remind yourself of all the times they’ve shown you their love.  

If that person has proven that they care, you know they have your best interest at heart. You’re both working towards the same goal, just taking two different roads to get there. Once you see that, look for a way to make the two ends meet. 

An intersection isn’t the merging of two streets, it’s the connecting of them. Each car has to stop for them to work properly, people are no different. We have to stop, yield, and wait our turn. 

When we do, we each reach our goal, when we don’t, a collision happens. Then we must deal with the aftermath of opposites trying to get their way. The right of way is never worth a crash.

There are unhealthy relationships that people should get out of, but the majority of people in our lives love us. They only want what’s best for us, even if they have a different opinion of what that is. Just remember, different doesn’t mean wrong, it just means different.

You each want the same thing. The two of you may need to set and talk about your goals. Approach it by recognizing that you’re both trying. Discuss what is working, and what isn’t. You may find common ground over a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter’s night.

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